Dogs love farms!

That is all!

Spotted!

Velvet ant!

Shari informed me the other day that she saw a red velvet ant crawling around. I had never heard of one much less seen one. But then last night, what do I see scampering around by the back porch? An inch-long, red and black fuzzy critter! Quite stunning! "See! A velvet ant!"

So today's research project for myself dealt with velvet ants. First thing I learned? They aren't really ants. Nope! They are wasps. More specifically, a female wasp. Apparently the female wasp is fuzzy with a black and red or orange body and no wings. The black, winged males are very rare to see but the females are easy to spot. They do have stingers and it's my understanding that they hurt so bad that they have been nicknamed "cow killers." Now they are not at all aggressive, which I can attest to. The one I saw ran as fast as she could away from me.

On the bright side, velvet ants are parasitic, laying eggs next to the chambers of underground pests such as beetles, wasps and bumble bees. Which we do have a bit of a wasp problem. So I am going to cheer for our friend, the velvet ant and wish her the best of luck helping to rid us of our more destructive pests.

Caveat Emptor!

Buyer Beware!

So far, I love country living! I don't have to put on my pants to go outside and I can sing Afternoon Delight at the top of my lungs without disturbing the neighbors. But there are a few caveats that I must share with those of you who are looking to take the leap into farm-life.

 

No delivery.

You remember those spontaneously lazy nights where you and your significant other both look at each other, beaten, and decide that you are going to order a pizza and veg out in front of the television?  Well that's pretty much over with. Not the lazy nights. I mean, the grass can be mowed tomorrow, right? It's the delivery that gets you. Or rather, doesn't get to you. There is no ordering pizza or Chinese or even munchies from that place open 4:20 pm to 4:20 am. Unless you want to make the 20-minute drive to the closest take out joint, once you are home, what's in the fridge is what you're eating.

 

Bugs, bugs. Lots of bugs.

You don't mind bugs, do you? Because there are a lot of them, most of which you've never seen before.  And they are big! Have you ever seen a dog tick after it's had its fill and has fallen off the dog? I don't recommend you Google it. It's nasty. And huge. And is crawling slowly across the floor.

 

Coyotes will eat your cat.

Now that you live in the country and there are no cars to smash Fluffy or mean kids to tie balloons to Scabs' tail, why not let your precious feline outside once in a while? She has her shots and has been treated for ticks and fleas! Well I guarantee you she has not been treated for predators. If your cat is small, there's a reasonable chance that it will get eaten by an owl. Even if Mr. Whiskers is a huge beast that can pluck the largest raptor out of the air with the greatest of ease, there are coyotes and they have a taste for kitty cat. Not kidding here. They will gang up on and surround Tuxedo. I won't go into details as to how they dispatch with the kitty kitty but let's just say, getting hit by a car is mercy.

 

911 service might take a while.

So how does 911 work, exactly? Well, when you punch in 911, the call goes to the nearest answer point based upon where your phone number originates and they then notify the appropriate agency. So let's say you live in Kansas City, KS where your area code is (913), of course and your prefix is 288. The folks answering your call will route everything to the police station closest to the Kansas Speedway because that's where (913) 288 phone numbers are located. Now let's say you live in an unincorporated township that does not have its own phone service or police. You live closest to one city but your phone service is provided by another. And to top it off, when you plug in your address into a GPS device or Google Maps, it looks at you like a dog hearing a high-pitched squeal. In other words, by the time the call center knows who to contact and the emergency services have decided whether or not you are even within their jurisdiction, you have died from your heart attack, your house has burned down and a group of teenagers have taken your television.

The wisest move in this case is to have the County Sheriff, an ambulance service and the local fire station on speed dial and just forget about 911.

 

Always something to do.

Okay, so this is really not much different than just regular home ownership. There's just more stuff you have to do outside and if you don't like the outdoors, you might not want to move to the country.

Can anyone think of anything else? I'm sure there's more, but these are the big ones!

Mmmm plum bread...

Shari's plum bread recipe.

Ingredients
1 cup pitted, chopped plums
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1/2 cup butter
1 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/3 cup plain yogurt
1/4 cup brown sugar

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).


2. Spray a 9x5-inch loaf pan with cooking spray, or line with parchment paper.


3. Sprinkle chopped plums with 1 tablespoon of flour in a bowl, and toss to coat. Set aside. In a large bowl, beat the butter, white sugar, and vanilla extract with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs. In another bowl, sift together 1 1/2 cup of flour with salt and baking soda. Stir the dry ingredients into the egg mixture, alternating with yogurt until the mixture forms a smooth batter. Lightly stir in the flour-coated plums, and pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan. Sprinkle the top of the batter with brown sugar.


4. Bake in the preheated oven until a toothpick inserted into the center of the loaf comes out clean, 45 to 50 minutes. Remove from oven, and let cool in the pan 10 to 15 minutes before removing from pan for slicing.

Sloth

Baby Ruth?

Wanna know about having a good time? You should check out wisdom teeth removal! It's what all the cool kids are doing, even this one!

According to my wife I told the nurses that the drugs they gave me resembled nothing more than a normal night out. And that I looked a lot like Sloth from The Goonies. But no candy bars for me! Chewing is completely off the table!

Or at least it was off the table until Shari cut me a slice of her plum bread topped with a hunk of butter. So damn good!

Blue sky smiling at me!

This heat is killing me!

I thought it best tonight to do some inside work so I painted the downstairs bathroom. The previous owner did a fantastic job of fixing up every room with the downstairs bathroom being the obvious exception. The walls are cheap-ass paneling making the decor reminiscent of a 1970's family room. In time I would like to completely redo it complete with new walls and tile. For now, though, we decided to paint it a sky blue. It actually looks really nice!

Oh I checked the cellar and discovered that my sump pump work around did not work. I'm going to have to find a replacement.

And before you ask, yes, Peter is back. This time I decided to leave him there. He will be our little totem, I suppose.

Toad-aly busy.

I have hooked up many a washer and dryer. It's not really difficult at all! Cold to cold, hot to hot, dryer vent to it's escape pod. Well what happened in our laundry room was straight out of an episode of the Dick Van Dyke show. Water everywhere, heat from the vent pouring out. It took me way longer than it should have but I did it! We can now do laundry.

On a wetter note, we bought the wrong sump pump. Apparently we do not need a submersible. I believe that I've created a work-around using a binder clip.

So the toad. Twice now I have liberated this toad from our cellar. I say "liberated" because I'm pretty sure he can't get out. I'm also pretty sure it's too cold for him to live. I understand the attraction, though. It is quite comfy down there!

By the way, I have named him Peter. As in Peter Cellar. Yeah, I'm that guy.

Sunday fun day I don't have to run day.

Isn't Sunday supposed to be a day of rest? Well so far, no good. We've already been out to Shari's parents' to pick up a boat, a dog run and various farm equipment. Oh yeah, and we picked up the dogs! After a quick bath, they are back in the house.

So I noticed today that our plums are ready to pick. Nice! Two days on the farm and we are already harvesting tasty goodness. So tonight, once it's no longer hot-hundred degrees out, Share Bear and I will be pulling plump plums off of our tree.

So many caterpillars, so few chickens.

See this bad boy? It's a walnut caterpillar. And it has friends. Oh so many friends! You know what walnut caterpillars don't like? Buckets full of soapy water.

Shari's basil bouquet.

Pears? Yes please!

Introductions are in order, wouldn't you say?

Looks like the perfect album cover, no?

My name is Blake and my wife Shari and I are closing on our farm on Wednesday, July 13th, moving in on Friday, July 15th.

Who we are.

I am a faculty librarian with the local university and my wife is a school counselor. We met, fell in love, and were married on June 7, 2008 (6.7.8). It's been our dream to start a small farm complete with chickens, fruit trees, veggies and a fishing pond. We plan on adding goats and possibly a cow to the mix and eventually, becoming organic certified. This is a hobby farm that may, if we are lucky, turn into more.

The Farm

A small, three bedroom, two bath, newly renovated farm house on 6.75 acres. There is a large garage where I plan to put together not only a workshop but also a gym and basic guy stuff. It's large enough to where I could even someday install a loft!

Why 'Smallville'?

Two simple reasons:

1.  I am a comic book geek.
2. We are in Kansas.

Our farm is located just south of Lawrence or what I shall refer to as Smallville. Smallville is a nice, quiet college town which also supports a healthy farming community. People there love their music, food and sports. It's pretty wholesome without being square.

So if there's a Smallville, is there a Metropolis? But of course! Just forty miles east of Lawrence sits the bustling city of Kansas City! Metropolis is where I ran the streets as a youth. My wife, though, grew up just outside of Kansas City in a town called Spring Hill, which we'll now call Midvale.

Now what?

My hope is to post our progress from day one, starting with our move-in. I would love for you to follow us but really, this is for me. And Shari. And perhaps any alien babies we find and raise while living on Smallville Farm.